https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog daily 0.75 2022-06-16 https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/emotional-intelligence-secret-weapon monthly 0.5 2022-06-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1655383475108-17I67LTZ42KDH1I7H9ZP/unsplash-image-_VkwiVNCNfo.jpg Blog - Secret Weapon to a Fulfilled Life and Enhanced Relationships - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/b90429be-8434-46db-bca1-d4c6db109e47/2.png Blog - Secret Weapon to a Fulfilled Life and Enhanced Relationships - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1655383599120-QLPJ9DAG5S29PLAF0MRB/unsplash-image-cRLEVt6SZxI.jpg Blog - Secret Weapon to a Fulfilled Life and Enhanced Relationships - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/3c3001bf-a7a6-4df0-ad0d-dc228d45fb90/4.png Blog - Secret Weapon to a Fulfilled Life and Enhanced Relationships - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/9dyjey7ef1db9wiecojaja9vle8xqa monthly 0.5 2022-04-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/a0a3086e-b0a2-465e-84d6-5ed5bdcda850/unsplash-image-Vmr8bGURExo.jpg Blog - 5 Benefits Men Can Obtain from Therapy with a Professional Counselor - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/benefits-of-christian-marriage-counseling monthly 0.5 2020-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1606335646442-KQPLB317N7RN5J79W26C/Christian+marriage+counselor Blog - The Benefits of Christian Marriage Counseling A successful marriage takes work, and that’s a challenge couples cheerfully take on. Even so, keeping that “perfect union” can sometimes be difficult, and outside help is needed to work through rough patches. Many couples turn to marriage therapy so they can find a safe space to talk through, and resolve, issues that have become problematic in their marriage. For those with a strong faith background and lifestyle, that can sometimes be daunting. They may feel as though they are somehow failing a commitment they made to friends, family and God by admitting that their marriage is imperfect. To help them with that mindset, as well as the difficulties that are making counseling needed in the first place, they turn to a Christian therapist. Christian marriage counseling is ideal for those couples who want to improve their relationship and do so through the filter of their faith and values. The counselors are fully trained, often with advanced degrees, and also may have received additional training through their particular faith tradition. Their work often pairs well with pastoral counseling, because they are able to blend both spiritual and secular approaches to tackle real-life issues from all angles. All viewpoints considered in faith-based therapy Chances are, there are many options for local marriage counseling, both Christian and secular. An important thing to remember when looking at Christian marriage counselors it to see if they share your values. Even if a counselor comes highly recommended by a friend or family member, every situation is different. The counselor may have been a lifesaver to the person making the referral, but their particular approach to Biblical marriage principles may not align with your, or your spouse’s, viewpoint. Having everyone agree on some basics up front will be key to success. That said, some differences around theology with a counselor may lead to frank discussions and new paths forward, so a perfect match doesn’t have to be the case. That’s why it’s vital to enter into couples counseling with an open mind. It’s likely the counselor will create a “safe zone” where differences can be shared without arguments, eye-rolling or detachment — the very things that shut down communication within the relationship. An open mind leads to an open heart, understanding and forgiveness, all things a Christian marriage counselor can help to mediate. What are some issues that a faith-based marriage counselor can help you tackle? Christian counseling can include coping with: · Anger management · Conflict result ion · Forgiveness · Mental health issues · Depression/isolation It’s clear that just like a pastor, no counselor will have all the answers, all of the time. Engaging a Christian marriage counselor can be the first step on building a team, however, to help the couple resolve their issues. Think of it this way: between a pastor, a counselor, and doctors (both physical and psychiatric), there’s a lot of smart people with sound insights who have your back! Most importantly, when moving to a counseling relationship, it’s vital that both spouses be willing to be challenged. One session might have the husband on the hot seat, the next time it may be the wife. That may seem unfair in the moment, but by digging deep into what’s going on, instead of just finger-pointing and blaming, each spouse will learn more about the other — and themselves. And from there, they can be open, honest and willing to put in the time and effort to recover the love and understanding that brought them together in the first place. https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/2020/11/15/5-signs-when-you-found-the-one-to-marry monthly 0.5 2020-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1606335352459-R7UA85A0V9C7FABSQYM4/iStock-1227091052-min.jpg Blog - 5 Signs When You Found The One to Marry https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/teenage-rebellion monthly 0.5 2020-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1606334734216-U0JIK4SKWSBXS0OSM684/Trouble+White+Teen Blog - Troubled Teens: Unpacking Teenage Anger & Rebellion Parents often struggle with understanding why their teens appear angry. Anger is defined as a strong sense of displeasure. We experience anger when things do not go the way we want or when something feels unfair. You may ask, what does my teen have to be displeased about? With changes in hormones, education expectations, and social challenges teenage years can be one of the most stressful times. With so many distractions and demands for attention, some teens have a limited ability to manage their stress and emotions. Let’s be clear, there is nothing wrong with anger. The problem is our inability to handle the emotion appropriately. I have listed three areas that unpack why “Anger” is a common emotion for teens. This is not meant to tell you why your teen is angry; but provide insight into factors that contribute to the emotion as a whole. Culture “Be a man”, “suck it up”, “stop acting like a girl”, “be a lady”. As dated as some of these statements may sound, they are still a part of our culture. Depending on the context, these statements have been used to shape which expressions of emotions are appropriate based on sex. In our masculine culture tears are viewed as weakness and not a part of healing. Have we developed a culture where the mark of a man is to endure without showing pain or sadness? Have we left out the need to express all types of emotions including sadness, disappointment, or even compassion? Have you heard the statement that anger is a secondary emotion? Sometimes this is the case. Behind anger we may find other emotions that we do not want to reveal like sadness, disappointment, or regret. For some teens anger is more of an acceptable emotion to express. Tip: Although you do not have direct control of every aspect of our greater culture you do have control of the culture you develop in your home. Create a culture where emotions are acceptable. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad or angry. How you respond to these emotions makes all the difference in the world. Talk to your teen about phrases like “suck it up” or “be a lady”. Practice unconditional love. Let your teen know that they can be who they are without fear of losing your love. Be intentional about establishing a culture that is okay to feel. Encourage your teen to take responsibility for their emotions. Models Ask yourself. How do I respond to anger? How do I show emotions? Is it acceptable to be angry in my home? What are your thoughts about being sad or tearful? Are some emotions acceptable for girls but not for boys? Take note of your feelings about feelings (meta-emotions). Paint a detailed picture of the way you model emotions. We first gain insight on how to express emotions from our caregivers. Think about how your mom or dad handled their emotions? Have you ever told yourself I sound like my mother or my father? Part of this is genetics, but even more important are the years of modeling you received from your caregivers. One or two things may happen. You will either find yourself behaving and thinking like a caregiver or push yourself to do the complete opposite. Usually we find ourselves doing a combination of the two. I say all that to say this, teens learn how to manage emotions from examples. The main example being you. Tip: Be conscious about your emotions. Find appropriate opportunities to share with your teen times you felt angry or sad and how you handled the situation. They may pretend like they are not listening, do not fall for it. I have spoken to teen who want to start yarning when I start to speak. They remember what you say. Avoid sharing stories where the teen may feel as if they have to choose sides like between you and your spouse. Not only coach teens through handling emotions, but also provide a model. Handle yourself in the way you would want your teen to handle themselves. Depression Did you know that irritability is a symptom of depression? Reflect on when you felt irritable or annoyed. Now ask yourself, what does an irritable 15-year-old look like? One-word sentences, explosive or short responses, deep sighs, these are a few noticeable signs of irritability. We think about crying and a sad look as being the image of a depressed person; but what if those emotions are not acceptable to show? Especially for boys, anger is a more acceptable emotional response to stress or disappointment. Tip: Look for other symptoms that provide insight into deeper issues like isolation, changes in eating habits, change in sleeping schedule, hopelessness, or self-harming. Keep an open heart and open ear. If you notice symptoms seek to understand first before being understood. Talk openly about feelings of depression. If there has been a recent change or loss, talk openly about your emotions, and open up opportunities for your child to share. Fill your teen up with encouragement. If you believe there are deeper concerns, contact a licensed professional. Purposed Life Counseling assists individuals defeat depression and couples learn to communicate in the state of Tennessee. 615-241-9074 https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/stand-up-against-bullying monthly 0.5 2020-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1606333990298-W442ZXZ0QULIECSRWGJZ/stand+up+against+bullying Blog - 5 Steps Parents Can Do To Support Their Children Stand Up Against Bullying https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/depressed-spouse monthly 0.5 2020-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1606333647797-P0FLQYAVDR58IWBP5851/nik-shuliahin-BuNWp1bL0nc-unsplash.jpg Blog - Living With A Depressed Spouse? Depression can affect people in many different ways. Spouses can be an important piece in recognizing and supporting their loved one’s mental health. Be aware of what may be going on in your spouse’s world. Ask yourself: Has my spouse began or stopped any medication? Are we close to an anniversary or holiday that may promote a sadden mood? Has something recently changed in my spouse’s life either physically, mentally, or socially? Asking these questions can provide context into an abrupt change of mood. Here are some depressive symptoms you may see in your spouse. Feeling down or “blue” most of the day. Remember that depression is different than sadness. A depressed spouse will feel down most days the majority of the day. These symptoms could be noticed over several weeks. Wanting to sleep in more than usual Perhaps your spouse has begun to sleep in the majority of the day. They seem like they never have the energy or motivation to go out. They report feeling tired or unmotivated to make any changes. Lost interest Take notice if your spouse no longer has the same enthusiasm with activates that once brought them joy. This I more than a change of taste. Suicidal comments or thoughts All thoughts or statements regarding suicide should be taken seriously. If you have any concern that your spouse will attempt suicide call 911. Let them know what you have heard and observed. Perhaps your spouse talks about wanting to sleep forever. They may say that they would never attempt suicide but just want to feel different or not feel at all. This is a sign that a professional may need to be contacted. If you are not sure what your spouse is thinking, ask a direct question. Example: “I really care about you, and the way you are talking I am concerned for your safety, are you having thoughts about ending your life?” Take all threats to life seriously. Changes in hygiene You may notice a change in the energy toward hygiene. They may stop taking showers as regularly or no longer shave or comb their hair. These symptoms may be subtle. Perhaps they report just feeling tired or that they no longer have the time. Irritability This may look like anger. Your spouse has a short fuse. They may seem to explode when you ask simple questions or ask them to do something. Take note if this behavior is out of the norm. This may provide insight that something internally is going on. Be sensitive to their needs. Do not attempt to pry something out of your spouse if they are not prepared to talk. Eating habits Have you noticed a change in their eating habits? Do they eat more than usual, or do they eat less? Extreme changes can indicate that they are out of balance. You may have notice that they have gained or loss weight. These signs may hold true for other loved ones such as a parent or child, as well. Talk therapy is proven to be beneficial treatment to symptoms of depression. Please note, the symptoms listed above may not result in a Major Depressive Disorder diagnosis, if you have a concern make sure you contact a licensed professional. Do not allow stigma to stop a loved one from getting the help they need. https://www.apurposedlife.com/blog/mental-health-in-the-church monthly 0.5 2020-11-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5fb729988890456c107128b3/1606252592765-QKX5T80VXBYIOU1OJRP8/praying+hands Blog - Jesus and a Counselor- Increasing Mental Health Literacy in the Church In Every community and every city there will be a church. For years the church has been a crucial part of the community. Moving out of 2020 the church is still and important part of each city, town, and community. It is often said that our churches are 7 years behind the times. When it comes to mental health the church cannot afford to be left behind. Here are 5 things the church can do to increase mental health literacy in their congregations. 1) Use proper language This is important especially from the church leadership. Be aware of using words like “crazy” “weird” or “odd” to describe mental health challenges. Though it may not be intentional, those words may invite shame into the hearts of people who relate to the actions or thoughts being described. Individuals dealing with mental illnesses may have been described as “crazy” or “odd”. Being labeled as crazy does not provide light on how someone can improve their situation or mental health. Use language that promotes mental health. 2) Create a Supportive environment Within any congregation there will be individuals who are dealing with some type of mental health challenge. One of the main reason’s members do not speak to their church leadership has to do with confidentiality. Many church members are concerned that their struggles will spread throughout the congregation. Dare I say church gossip? Church’s that create a supportive environment may open the door for their members to share their challenges. Creating a creative environment does not come without intentionality. How the church leadership systematically approach mental health concerns will speak louder than what is preached. 3) Become transparent Talking about personal experiences regarding life stressors can help in removing the, “I have it all together” façade. When leadership and members discuss their personal battles and victories concerning Mental Health, it encourages others to seek help. Transparent congregations promote a sense of community. We all want a community where we can be ourselves in a non-judgmental environment. When I learn about your struggles it provides me the opportunity to share. Members sharing their struggles will lead to being able to identify how church members can better support each other, this leads back to a supportive environment. 4) Get Training If you are wanting to increase your congregation’s mental health literacy it is imperative that you get accurate information. Leadership should intentionally invest into learning about mental health and symptoms of mental illness. The more knowledge obtained the better the congregation can be helped. Mental Health First Aid and ACE’s training can be conducted at little to no cost for churches. 5) Work with mental health professionals You can have Jesus and a counselor. Although they may have the best intentions, church members sometimes say the wrong things and the wrong time. Mental health professionals have invested thousands of dollars and years of training in their field. Faith leaders can work alone side the right therapist/counselor to provide their congregation a very specific type of support. Faith and therapy are not at odds with each other, actually they are complementary. Invite a licensed counselor to your congregation to present on a given topic. Make sure to choose the right counselor for your congregation. The right counselor will have an understanding of your church’s culture and the ability to merge therapy alongside faith. Licensed counselors are not there to make doctrinal decisions. Inviting a counselor to speak at small events can help in opening the door to having mental health conversations in your congregation. If you or your congregation have an interest in better connecting faith and therapy. Contact Ben Roberts LPC-MHSP at Purposed Life. We have a passion for working with people of faith. 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